A guy opened my gallery door a few moments ago, the door alarm made its usual chirp to alert the door had been opened, I glanced up to see from the corner of my eye the umbrella next to the front door being taken outside. When I realized it was not a co-worker but rather some guy with a towel on his head he was already at the end of the block in today's down pour. The last thing I saw, while I stared and contemplated running in the rain after him to wrestle back the umbrella, was him taking the towel from his head as it had served its purpose. No use for it now. He has an umbrella.
To the 6 foot tall, middle aged, slightly heavy set black man in the verticle red and navy collared rugby shirt I bid you a good day and I hope you stay dry. But Zack probably wants his umbrella. You can drop it off on your way back.
Need you comment on his race?
Posted by: hotspringer | September 11, 2009 at 08:36 AM
How about this . . .
"To the 6 foot tall, middle aged, slightly heavy set man without any noticeable tattoos or birthmarks in the vertical red and navy collared rugby shirt I bid you a good day and I hope you stay dry."
Posted by: humidhaney | September 11, 2009 at 08:42 AM
Zack has an umbrella?
Posted by: Zack's Mom | September 11, 2009 at 01:01 PM
Your non-confrontational nature allowed your "gallery" to be burglarized in your presence. You can be all prosaic about it, but I would have gotten my shit back. If I were a black person that wanted to steal something I would definitely hit a "gallery."
They're not going to chase you, they're just going to wax poetic about the craziness of life and sigh at some profound sense of things that they use to explain to themselves why their nature just made them an easy target for crime.
How hard could it be to chase down someone with an open umbrella in the rain? I think I could catch Carl Lewis if he had to run with an open umbrella.
Hesitation, inaction, fear, half-ass justification - the burglar already supposed you had those qualities when he targeted an open "gallery." You proved he was right.
Posted by: Black person with your umbrella | September 11, 2009 at 01:47 PM
"Need you comment on his race?
Posted by: hotspringer | Sep 11, 2009 8:36:20 AM"
If he didn't, would it matter? We'd still know that he was black.
Posted by: Darkness | September 11, 2009 at 01:49 PM
Ha. It was an umbrella. Why would I run in the rain to get back that?
Oh but it was my Pearl colored Gucci umbrella, you know the one with the silver inlay.
Posted by: humidhaney | September 11, 2009 at 01:51 PM
I wouldn't call yourself a samaritan, maybe...just aloof? ha!
Posted by: zack | September 13, 2009 at 05:11 PM
I mean, don't you understand that he DESERVED that umbrella? It's the least we can do for the underpriviledged in this city. If I had a real job that earned enough money to actually pay taxes, I'd want to see alot of that money taken from me to pay for his public housing, food stamps, indigent health care, and welfare. That way umbrella man could have a shelter from the rains of life.
Posted by: Cyndi G | September 13, 2009 at 07:32 PM
It's a shame the way some people think they can just take from others. They think they are entitled to it. After he stole the umbrella, he probably hijacked somebody's SUV. Just because he wanted it, and therefore he deserves it.
Posted by: sean | September 13, 2009 at 07:48 PM
It was important to note his race in a description. I'm so sick of over sensitive ass people who trip when someone describes someone by race. It is important and while it shouldn't matter it is something you don't ignore. BTW i'm a 6 foot heavy-set black gentleman but I wasn't in N.O. stealing umbrellas.
Posted by: Journal | September 13, 2009 at 08:26 PM
So did he drop it off on his way back or what?
If I were a criminal I'd definitely start hitting some of these places. He knew what he was doing.
Take what you want, and the ironically dressed victim will just sit there and chalk it up to some sort of karmic retribution scheme that he alone is deep enough to understand. ... but perhaps the kind fellow traveler who needed to be provided with something understands it too. How beautiful for everyone!!
Posted by: Lake Minnetonka | September 13, 2009 at 10:45 PM
How did you know I was wearing Ironic pants that day?
Posted by: humidhaney | September 13, 2009 at 10:47 PM
OMG that was you haney!?!?!
Posted by: Minnetonka | September 14, 2009 at 12:58 PM
Obama asks all galleries to stay open an extra hour.
You can help Barack by keeping your gallery open longer!
Posted by: White House | September 14, 2009 at 12:59 PM
You have been given the honor of an opportunity to help Barack do something fantastic! Won't you help Barack out by complying with his wishes and stay open another hour today?
Posted by: White House | September 14, 2009 at 01:00 PM
Barack asks very little of you. He's AWESOME and so are you for your compliance. Tell this to people who aren't that great.
Posted by: White House | September 14, 2009 at 01:03 PM