According to a church in Gretna . . .

Comments

[M Styborski]

Gretna is a funny name. Is that Hindu?

[Maitri]

Stybbie, I'll show you funny. Come over here and take a look at my palm once. Gretna is a town in that other hilarious nation of Scotland.

[Dambala]

Who the hell is Jason Berry?

[Maitri]

I don't know, but he's funny and Hindu.

[Dambala]

No wonder the Lutherans don't like him.

[nola cherie']

You woulda thought god could have told them that.

[M Styborski]

Godd grief Maitri, can't you read? He's the guy that's American Zombie!

[slate]

I think the Lutherans are mad cuz he's a Zombie, NOT cuz he's Hindu. They're afraid he'll take over their congregation and suddenly Sunday mornings will look like Night of the Living Dead.

[Ray]

That can't be it. The Lutherans, like all Christians, worship a zombie.

[M Styborski]

Oops, sorry Maitri, had the posting confused. Apparently it was some Dambala guy that couldn't read.

In the meantime I'm going back to my screenplay. It's about a gang war in smalltown Louisiana between a group of zealous Lutheran cattleman and a roving band of Hindu Zombie shepherds. There's even a romance between a Lutheran girl and a young Hindu Zombie… a real Romeo and Juliet kinda thing for the teen market.

I still need and ending though… right now it's either going to be an invasion of time-travelling bloggers from the future who the two groups unite against in order to free up internet bandwidth, (and they learn to live in peace and harmony,) or the young couple secretly marry, move to Meraux and have a child whom they name Loki, who in turn, preaches a very loud message of peace and harmony which unites the warring factions.

[Jonah]

That NOLA.com article is comedy gold. It's the first time I've ever enjoyed reading the comments on that site. Jason Berry is a miracle worker. Ashe indeed.

[dambala]

Jonah...fo' true. that was the best Nola.com thread I've ever read...myself withstanding. I think Ray wins the brilliance in snarkyness award.

Get those motherfuckin' snakes off my motherfuckin' plane, Ray.....you fuckin' sustainable energy lovin' hippies.

[liprap]

Ya know, I initially thought the "Save Our Zombie" ribbons would be made of snakeskin, but now I'm thinking Zubber - the moldable rubber that bounces the muthafuckin' snakes off us and onto the perpetrators of corruption.

[Maitri]

Oooh, ooh, Stybbie, pick me, pick me to play the Lutheran girl. I make a mean Lootran lutefisk which we can throw at the audience (for snacks, of course). The time-traveling bloggers story line appeals to me but we need to complicate the storyline by creating a schism amongst the bloggers (with fat tenors walking off in snits, Valkyrian-level infighting, shrill sopranos running hither & thither). But the breach in the discontinuum through which the bloggers went back in time is caused by the birth of Loki (as played by Loki) and the consequential two divas having to share one stage. An unstable proposition, to say the least.

Rising Tide V: The Space Opera. I can see it already. The question is who's going to play the Hindu zombie shepherd known as Krzna?

[Maitri]

"The question is who's going to play the Hindu zombie shepherd known as Krzna?"

Duh, Christian Bale, of course. American Psycho Hindu Zombie! Awesome. Bring on the Tonys.

[liprap]

If it's gonna be anything like "Pigs In Space", I think we need a Doctor Strangepork for RT V...and a Link Hogthrob...and a Miss Piggy...since I know my treif, I'll be Miss Piggy.

[M Styborski]

Hurm. I thought Hindus didn't eat pigs in space… wait, that's Muslims. OK, we'll make the Lutherans fishermen and the Hindu Zombies can be space pig farmers who open wormholes in their fields in order to harvest the little space oinkers.

The wormholes are scaring the Lutheran's fish creating a chemical imbalance in their systems which causes a bad reaction when they are dunked in the lye for the lutefisk making.

Christian Bale can't be Krzna, he's not Hindu, he's CHRISTIAN! Maybe Harry Shearer can get Hank Azaria for us… unless we ask Bobby Jindal?